Over 3 million children witness domestic abuse each year, I was one of them. This is am emotional episode for me because I have not told this part of my story before. I closed off the memories in order to heal and push through the pain and shame, which is common. However, it means that we don’t get to connect with others who may have experienced the same thing. I also talk about financial abuse and how much it plays a role in keeping victims trapped. I wanted to take Domestic Violence Awareness Month to share and connect. Do you or someone you know have a domestic abuse story? Share this episode so that we can begin healing the pain associated with domestic abuse. I also wanted to announce our partnership with Allstate Foundation’s Purple Purpose Campaign.
Why I recorded this episode
Statics record only what’s reported, but who is counting all the unreported cases of domestic abuse that go undocumented each year? Victims are sometimes too afraid or ashamed to ask for help or share their story, so they keep this painful secret to themselves. A bigger question is, who is protecting the children in these relationships. The children may not be physically abused but are certainly mentally bruised.
I was never diagnosed with any trauma related disorders like PTSD but I admit that maybe I should have been. I know that my past gave me the tough exterior that kept me single for a long time. I believe that some of my actions and reactions were directly related to the abuse I witnessed. I know that the distrust I felt for men, that I couldn’t explain, came from seeing the most important man in my life behave in such a painful way.
What I hope to accomplish
When listening to this episode please don’t judge my father, or my mother. They were both doing the best with what they had available to them at the time. I have healed from this past experience and I am able to love freely and completely…but it took a lot of self-development and therapy work.
I am not excusing my father’s behavior or any abusers behavior. I am giving them grace. I understand that every abuser has also been abused in someway. It is no excuse, they are still responsible for their actions and they are also responsible for their healing, but I am extending grace because I know what it’s like to be human.
Both my parents have healed from this experience and although they both love my brother, my sister, and me very much their choices had a lasting effect on our emotions.
In the episode I mention how my grandfather was abusive, mostly verbally but maybe physically too. I just don’t remember or maybe I wasn’t born yet. Both my mother and grandmother were strong women but still somehow the men they loved abused them. I’ve seen this happen to men as well. Victims often fall in love with someone they think they can fix or cure, or even someone that they think can fix or cure them. But healing rarely happens in co-dependent, abusive relationships. What usually happens is, the victim who thought they could help ends up getting hurt rather than helping or getting help.
I wrote this post and recorded this podcast episode from the perspective as a someone who was victimized indirectly from domestic abuse. There is very little of my therapist knowledge here. I didn’t set out to write clinical article…I set out to share my story and connect with those who have a similar story on a human level…not on a clinical level.
It was important for me to create action with this post and podcast episode. I don’t think staying in our story prompts healing but I do think accepting our story does. I have accepted my story and with forgiveness and boundaries I can continue to heal. We all can. Judging by the tears you hear in this episode I may still have some work to do, but I am proud that I have done some of my work and that I am dedicated to working with Allstate Foundation’s Purple Purse Campaign to help others heal.
In honor of domestic violence awareness month a portion of every Prosperity Club purchase will go to Allstate Foundations Purple Purse Campaign. Our goal is to raise $10,000 and donate it to Allstate Foundation’s Purple Purse Campaign to assist domestic violence survivors in becoming more financially aware. We will also donate one Prosperity Club membership a month to a survivor and help them navigate the money cycle to reach their true heart’s desire.
99% of all DV cases include financial abuse and I want to do my part to end that. If you liked to join me there are 4 ways.
- You can shop our apparel line of Prosperity Club tees. $5 of every t-shirt purchase will go to Allstate Foundations Purple Purse Campaign. So if you by 4 tees $20 goes to domestic violence survivors. Just go to kinecorder.com/shop
- You can join the Prosperity Club or gift a membership to a couple you love. $5 of every Prosperity Club membership will go to Allstate Foundations Purple Purse Campaign to help domestic abuse survivors. Kinecorder.com/jointheclub
- If you decide you want one-on-one Prosperous Life Coaching with me it starts with a consultation. $20 of every consultation will go to Allstate Foundation’s Purple Purse Campaign. Go to kinecorder.com/consultation
- If you hire me to speak at an upcoming event 10% of my speaking fee will go to Allstate Foundation Purple Purse. To book connect with my program manager at kinecorder.com/book. Let us know your needs and you will receive an email with my availability and fee schedule.
YOU DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO COLLABORATE WITH US TO SERVE A GREAT CAUSE. WE APPRECIATE YOUR GENEROSITY AND WE ARE SO THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE JOINING US IN THIS CAMPAIGN.
WE WILL KEEP YOU INFORMED AS TO HOW MUCH WE RAISED AND NEXT STEPS FOR CONTINUING TO HELP.
Take action now by clicking the link that connects with you.
Life happens and even though it feels like it’s happen to you, there is the possibility that it’s happening for you. The challenges we face push us in a new direction and facilitate the start of a new life or at least a new mindset about our lives. Starting over can be a blessing and you don’t have to feel ashamed for how you arrived where you are. Just remember we are ever changing and evolving.
Join our list
Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.