Research shows that on average couples don’t seek counseling until six years into their marriage, way after the chaos is too deep and the relationship is hanging on by a thread. To avoid getting to that point, it’s a good idea to seek counseling individually and as a couple throughout the entirety of your relationship. This can help one heal the emotional wounds they are carrying. On today’s episode, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Porsha Jones outlines how a marriage can suffer from abuse and infidelity, and offers an approach for successful empathizing with each other to rebuild trust in the relationship.
Marriage is ultimately a lifelong commitment to be in a partnership with someone. Aside from being in love, having the ability to show respect and accept any flaws that your significant other may have is a sign of readiness to join together as one. In the midst of this new lifestyle, there are still two different individuals who have different wants and needs. Things can get tough when there are no clear lines of communication or compromise.
The cycle of abuse is not always visible to the eye. It starts as a silent mind game that forces one partner to doubt their ability to freely share their feelings, while the other partner acts as the aggressor of what should be safe space. That power tactic can cause one or both partners to an eventual break that leads to divorce. One source of a seemingly damaged marriage is infidelity – sexual or financial. These are both major offenses that can be traumatic to the partner that feels betrayed. However, both partners hold some of the responsibility in the infidelity. The secrets and disrespect create a domino effect of detachment leaving both partners with voids.
Before any wedding planning, sometimes even the proposal, couples have to fully know what their standards, morals, and values are, to see if they align. Recognizing you and your partner’s love language is a way to fully live out those values. Each partner may want to examine how they can be the right partner, rather than focusing on having the right partner. If both parties focus on being their best selves they will have the best marriage. Because even though opposites may attract, that opposing characteristic should be a point of learning and not a vigorous debate of who’s right.
“Marriage is powerful”
Today’s Love and Money idea:
What are the takeaways
- The foundation of your relationship before marriage will shape the effectiveness of communication with your partner within that union. When both partners put up a constant effort to listen for understanding, they can find strength through disagreements.
- Keeping an open dialogue about how to handle finances with your partner will set boundaries so together you can measure what’s affordable and where you can splurge. Being present in your relationship and your marriage can suppress the need to hide information.
- Taking ownership in the heat of marital chaos is reassurance for your partner that the relationship is worth working on to become better as a couple. Whenever a mistake is made, prepare to deal with it honestly.
On today’s 5-Minute Activation I break down the Money Cycle. I describe the Money Cycle as earn, grow, protect, gift, and enjoy your money. I’ll explain each area so you can connect identify your strengths and challenges associated with your Money Mentality. Learn how to navigate the Money Cycle to improve your Money Mentality and reach your heart’s desire. We’ve talked about your Money Mentality but if you don’t remember yours go to http://kinecorder.com/money-quiz.
Want resources on how to better navigate the Money Cycle and become a winning team in love, life, and money?
Here are a few:
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Passion is a very important part of marriage. Although it’s not the only thing, when passion is missing it affects so many areas of the marriage. And while passion affects other areas of the marriage, other areas of the marriage affect the passion. Money is one of those things, and mental health is another. Traumatic experiences can leave one so closed off and fearful that they can’t connect with the person that loves them the most. Sex therapist, DeShelle Burrowes helps us better understand why this is often the case when passion is absent. She also gives tips to help couples restore and maintain passion over time.
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