On last week’s episode we chatted about how a parent’s money habits and their idea of spending can affect the way their child deals with money. Today, psychotherapist Suzanne Maiden helps breakdown the factors and the necessity behind seeking therapy. We discuss the mental health issues of children and how a parent often learns to block out their own personal problems to stay in denial by focusing on their children.
A child’s mental health issues can be used as a scapegoat for the parents overlook addressing problems in the marriage. Do you agree that, children can be a direct product of their parents’ choices, patterns, and thought processes; both negative and positive? Consequently, if a parent sees a problem within their child and decides to exploit what the child is going through, that child will take advantage of the attention and family. Through a deeper lens, the issues that a child projects are often in response to prior trauma, which can be the catalyst for a mental health challenge.
Therapists have the ability to show empathy for their patients while supporting them and their families through the healing process. It’s important to understand how mental health affects everyone in the family. The person diagnosed is not the only one affected. Parents don’t want to hear they have something to do with their child’s mental health issues. It’s a tough reality, that can be true in many cases. The defining moments of a child’s traumatic experiences shouldn’t be ignored. Often the attention goes to the symptoms or side effects of trauma rather than the trauma itself.
Parents have to be responsible by acknowledging the difference between their child’s “kiddie antics” and the attention-seeking cry for help. When a child acts out in a heightened manner, it’s unfair to automatically label them with having a mental disorder (bipolar, schizophrenia, ADHD etc.), especially when there were signs that indicated a child could’ve gotten help earlier to cope with their packed in pain.
Each person in the family plays a role in the patient and the family healing. This episode is not about judging mental illness, parents, or patients. It’s about bringing awareness that these things exist and the conversation is the first step to healing.
“When you decide to heal your anxiety, you are saving others lives as well as your own…”
Today’s Love and Money idea:
- Sometimes trauma is trapped in a certain part of the body, and the body is telling you to work on that thing. Take care of your physical health so that you can tap into when something doesn’t feel right within your body.
- If the focus of therapy stays on the child, parents believe they don’t have to be held accountable for their involvement in adding to their child’s challenges. Eventually a child figures out they are not the sole problem of a family’s dysfunction, and will resent having to be the only one getting help.
- Mental health can be very harmful – personal unhealthiness can spill over to anybody we are closely connected to, causing those people to absorb our emotions while dealing with their own. This can be a hefty weight for someone to have so it’s always a good idea to do self checks to observe how we present ourselves to others.
- Anybody can benefit from maintenance therapy. Working on your mental health is an ongoing journey. As you grow, there will always be something new to work on.
Stop complaining and start training, that’s the topic of today’s 5 Minute Activation. Did you know it takes 5 compliments to overcome one complaint or criticism of your partner? Many of the things we complain about our just our preference. However, we act as if they are the law. I host a live workshop for couples called Peace Party and during the even you are not allowed to complain. It’s a complaint free zone. Couples find it hard to get through the workshop without getting caught complaining because complaining comes so natural to us. Try to refrain from complaining. How many days do you think you can go without complaining? And what productive self-development project can you spend your time training on? Check out the 5 Minute Activation in this episode to get tips on how to train your brain to not complain. You can do it!
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Therapy is not just for healing it can be utilized for prevention. When was the last time you and your partner went to counseling? Having regular check-ins about what’s going well and what challenges one may want to address is the philosophy I use and so does my guest Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Porsha Jones. Tune in to here how she helps couple over come infidelity, domestic violence, and get to the root of the problem. Porsha utilizes Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) to uncover the primary emotions that have been overshadowed by the secondary emotions like anger, irritations, and isolation. Visit http://kinecorder.com/love-money-couples-counseling for more details and show notes.
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